It is easy to find things that are wrong. I think the simplest path is the negative talk we tell ourselves and others about what irritates and annoys. But to find the positive, to find the truth, that is a narrow road. That is the path that many people believe they are on until they look around and get real. That was a moment for me tonight as I talked to a dear woman that has bounced in and out of my life spilling her nuggets of truth and life with me. This woman was instrumental in introducing me to my Lord and Christ-Jesus.
As we stood talking, we had not seen each other in a long time, we mentioned some past bad habits of mine that I fully accept were bad habits. She had overheard me telling someone about what I think of that stuff now and couldn’t believe that was me and true. With confirmation from a good friend, she was assured that I have in fact changed that part of my life and am training my children to do the same, without all the struggle and heartache to go with it though.
This brief conversation caused me to think deeply about where I was last time I was able to connect with this dear and special woman. I was also reminded of the journey I went through to get to where I was now. But I still was thinking it wasn’t enough. I still believed that I had too far to go and I had something to prove, to myself. Then, I believe the Lord did this, a song on the radio came on, “Redeemed” by Big Daddy Weave.
The beginning of this song were much of how I was feeling and thinking at the time: “Seems like all I could see was the struggle, Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past, Bound up in shackles of all my failures, Wondering how long is this gonna last,” It was like I was hanging out in the past because that was where people expected me to be. They know me to be like this so I need to act like that around them. I ask myself, “What if they don’t believe I’ve changed?” then live as if I haven’t. But at the same time I don’t. It’s hard to explain that feeling but I think Christ explained it well in Mark 6:1-6 when he was not able to minister in his home town because they did not believe who he was.
I know everyone will not believe the things I have changed are real and I am okay with that. I am not here to prove anything to anyone, including myself. The next part of the first verse of this song was like a slap to the back of the head: “ Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son, Stop fighting a fight it's already been won.” I do not need to prove myself because it is not my fight and Jesus already won it for me.
Jesus did everything needed to win the battle over my weaknesses. He died so that I do not have to feel lonely, unworthy, un-kept, unwanted, lost and afraid. I do not struggle with those things. I have learned to give them Christ. I choose to believe what he says about me and what he did for me. I do not need to hide behind an un-kept home or unclean body. I do not need to control everything around me and keep people from getting close. I do not have to fear rejection and be so serious that everyone runs away fulfilling my fear. Because I am redeemed!
Webster’s Dictionary defines redeemed as: to compensate for the faults or bad aspects of (something)- Do something that compensates for poor past performance or behavior. Christ redeemed me. Christ set me free and paid my debt for all those things that I didn’t do right. All the hurts I inflicted on past relationships that I would give anything to reach out to them and say sorry. Jesus compensated, with his LIFE, for my poor past behavior.
I was reminded tonight I have nothing to prove. I do not need to dwell on the negative things that have happened to me, or those things I have done wrong. I can choose to live redeemed and remember that I accepted the free gift of forgiveness Jesus gives to all and so wants me to live by. I can live in his peace with his joy covered by his love. “So I'll shake off these heavy chains, Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be, I am redeemed, I'm redeemed. Thank God, redeemed.”
As we stood talking, we had not seen each other in a long time, we mentioned some past bad habits of mine that I fully accept were bad habits. She had overheard me telling someone about what I think of that stuff now and couldn’t believe that was me and true. With confirmation from a good friend, she was assured that I have in fact changed that part of my life and am training my children to do the same, without all the struggle and heartache to go with it though.
This brief conversation caused me to think deeply about where I was last time I was able to connect with this dear and special woman. I was also reminded of the journey I went through to get to where I was now. But I still was thinking it wasn’t enough. I still believed that I had too far to go and I had something to prove, to myself. Then, I believe the Lord did this, a song on the radio came on, “Redeemed” by Big Daddy Weave.
The beginning of this song were much of how I was feeling and thinking at the time: “Seems like all I could see was the struggle, Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past, Bound up in shackles of all my failures, Wondering how long is this gonna last,” It was like I was hanging out in the past because that was where people expected me to be. They know me to be like this so I need to act like that around them. I ask myself, “What if they don’t believe I’ve changed?” then live as if I haven’t. But at the same time I don’t. It’s hard to explain that feeling but I think Christ explained it well in Mark 6:1-6 when he was not able to minister in his home town because they did not believe who he was.
I know everyone will not believe the things I have changed are real and I am okay with that. I am not here to prove anything to anyone, including myself. The next part of the first verse of this song was like a slap to the back of the head: “ Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son, Stop fighting a fight it's already been won.” I do not need to prove myself because it is not my fight and Jesus already won it for me.
Jesus did everything needed to win the battle over my weaknesses. He died so that I do not have to feel lonely, unworthy, un-kept, unwanted, lost and afraid. I do not struggle with those things. I have learned to give them Christ. I choose to believe what he says about me and what he did for me. I do not need to hide behind an un-kept home or unclean body. I do not need to control everything around me and keep people from getting close. I do not have to fear rejection and be so serious that everyone runs away fulfilling my fear. Because I am redeemed!
Webster’s Dictionary defines redeemed as: to compensate for the faults or bad aspects of (something)- Do something that compensates for poor past performance or behavior. Christ redeemed me. Christ set me free and paid my debt for all those things that I didn’t do right. All the hurts I inflicted on past relationships that I would give anything to reach out to them and say sorry. Jesus compensated, with his LIFE, for my poor past behavior.
I was reminded tonight I have nothing to prove. I do not need to dwell on the negative things that have happened to me, or those things I have done wrong. I can choose to live redeemed and remember that I accepted the free gift of forgiveness Jesus gives to all and so wants me to live by. I can live in his peace with his joy covered by his love. “So I'll shake off these heavy chains, Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be, I am redeemed, I'm redeemed. Thank God, redeemed.”